I’m pretty certain every English football match I’ve ever watched above a certain level (the lowest being Dorchester Town in the 6th tier) has included the chant, ‘We are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen!’
Which is problematic. They can’t all be, can they?
But football is subjective. That seems to be what I argue on this blog. It’s like music. One man thinks The Beatles are the best, another opts for Cannibal Corpse. Meanwhile, I loudly decry everyone as racist for overlooking Parliament/Funkadelic. But then we probably interject the debate with how we like the rivals.
But football doesn’t fit in like that. Or rather, that’s not the rules of the football watching game.
Even a 1990s vintage Manic Street Preachers fanatic, the real Cult of Richey types, would happily consume the music of other bands, of comparables. Could you imagine that dedicated a football fan allowing themselves to do that?!
And fans singing the Greatest Team song (ignoring boring elite clubs who stand a chance to reach what MIGHT be accepted as the Objective End of football, winning the Champions League)… Why do they make this claim? Are they aware of their own subjectivity? Are they ironically making a wild joke? Or do they actually believe it?
And if they are aware of their own subjectivity, why not escape the trappings of a rationalist winner-comes-first mode of football? Why still celebrate goals? Why cheer their team on to promotion? Why despair at failure? Why not go the whole hog and declare themselves the situationist hooligan wing of whichever economically castrated small club they support?
THIS IS NOT A FOOTBALL SCARF.