Yes, they exist. And yesterday they narrowly won the Ryman Isthmian Division One South.
Until very recently a works team, they have – according to Wikipedia – relaxed the rule on eligibility and signed non-cop players. And I have heard talk of their “big wallet”, which makes them sound like a Crawley Town with the added PR disaster of kettling teenagers.
According to the statistics, they approximately average attendances of a mere 80 for home games. Bognor Regis Town, who they pipped to the title on goal difference, were getting 1,300-ish at the end of the season. Which doesn’t seem very utilitarian… or even meritocratic.
And, as a result, Dulwich Hamlet – whose late surge I am (subjectively) very pleased to say saw them reach the final play-off place – will play the unfortunate Bognor Regis this coming Tuesday in the play-off semi-final.
I have to say I would have preferred them to play the Repressive State Apparatus instead, and not only because I can’t afford the travel to the south coast, but because I think singing We All Live In A Fascist Regime would have been rather appropriate…